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I'm not the man I once was [Apr. 4th, 2015|11:41 am]
lionel
But then again, neither are you.

Darling, you're forgiven.

Come back.
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Awkward. [Dec. 24th, 2010|05:42 pm]
lionel
A slightly unfortunate misunderstanding in the Vatican means I find myself en route to the UK to celebrate the birth of Our Lord. Who would have thought that such a senior Cardinal would be so fastidious? Anyway...

I need somewhere to bunk up for a few days - perhaps a week. Certainly no longer than a month. Juan and Miguel will be jetting in from Colombia in the New Year (DEA voluntis) - but as all my dear friends know, they are no trouble and can be very accommodating.

I am of course travelling incognito - since the incident with the spatula at that press conference I have been persona non grata in most civilised European countries, and also in France and Italy. No matter. These things tend to blow over.

So, if you see a handsome devil dressed in the robes of a mendicant friar a-knocking at your door this Christmas time, be sure to open wide and let me slip inside.

Merry Crimbotide!

P.S. Uncle Corky is still looking for Lulu - any news from anyone?
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(no subject) [Dec. 12th, 2008|12:09 am]
lionel
[mood |aggravatedaggravated]

Another embarrassment my dears, this week.

A holy man. A man of the cloth. Turns out I *completely* misunderstood the invitation to his Bishoprick.
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(no subject) [Aug. 20th, 2008|11:10 pm]
lionel
[mood |flirtyflirty]

My dears. I've finally got straight after my recent spell on queer street - a sentence Father Ignatius *never* thought he'd hear from my lips.

All this crunchy credit is very tedious, trade is dipping (unlike me), but am sure I'll be able to pick up a Bob or two tonight.
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(no subject) [Aug. 5th, 2008|09:51 pm]
lionel
A very dear friend has recently celebrated an important birthday - congratulations to her. I remember my 40th with enormous fondness. His name was Joshua and his cousin, Ruth (if I remember correctly), was my 41st some 30 sticky minutes later. Such a long time ago .... *wistful sigh*
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(no subject) [Dec. 30th, 2007|01:05 pm]
lionel
[mood |soresore]

Darlings, it's time for your christmas treat. Uncle Lionel is back!

I've just come out of what I believe they call a two-stretch in gaol. (There were certain aspects I found slightly stretching, certainly, but I'm sure it's been very character-building. As those of you with an interest in such things will know a two-stretch is quite easily completed within the year (much like the Swiss Navy) and so daddy's home now.

I've missed out on a lot this year, not least of which is this new FaceHook thing. I have a keen interest in faces, as those of you on those japanese communities will remember, and I think this FaceHook thing provides a forum to select the next few faces for one of Ryuichi's soirees.

Anyway, what's up darlings? (I certainly am!)
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(no subject) [Jan. 9th, 2007|03:27 pm]
lionel
In 2007, yes_lionel resolves to...
Ask my boss for a noot.
Spend less time on bacchanalia.
Learn to play the gantt.
Cut down to ten animals a day.
Give some djs to charity.
Put fifty cream horns a month into my savings account.
Get your own New Year's Resolutions:
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(no subject) [Dec. 19th, 2006|05:32 pm]
lionel
With apologies for my enforced silence (a ball-gag, a spell in Pentonville and a trip to Mombasa for some *ingredients*) I come before you again.

I've been very busy in the run-up to our festive season, initially with a gig as an elf in Peter Stringfellow's Santa's Grotto. Nothing, I've found, says "festive" like a leopard-spotted thong. Made some good memories there, and several influential new friends, so if anyone fancies an OBE, an MBE or a knighthood, you won't have to stump up the cash anymore.

Anyway - don't have long, Cecil is warming the swarfega, we have a couple of fine upstanding members of Her Mag's Constabulary visiting tonight - I'm not expecting to have *any* particulars left after tonight......

Ciao!
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(no subject) [Jun. 19th, 2006|03:47 pm]
lionel
I've always liked a well-turned ankle, and of course, I've had many a party in the team bath after the footy, but really, nothing says football to me than a linesman. It's the power, my darlings, and the chap in the movie and I have been very close on more than one occasion. I hope I'm not giving away too many secrets when I say that my ball-control is MAGNIFICENT.
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(no subject) [Jun. 7th, 2006|10:52 pm]
lionel
How exactly *does* one get rid of sweat-rash?

Best thing about the Swiss (and the half-Swiss)? *Full* of holes, darlings!
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