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(no subject) [May. 15th, 2006|12:42 pm]
[mood |chipperchipper]

I have a new large weapon of my own, so I headed to Tadley this weekend to show it to rillaith on the occasion of her birthday.

There was some sort of mix-up however, and on not locating the birthday girl I improvised, and knocked up a couple of her neighbours. Once they'd seen it, I headed across to Aldermaston. Never could resist those boys in uniform, and if anyone's interested in large weapons, it's them. My dears, they brought new meaning to the phrase 'warHead'. On my way out I briefly considered the homely-looking ladies sitting on the perimeter with their tents and flags, but recognised a few of them from Tangiers (and you'll ALL know the little local difficulty I had there).
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(no subject) [Jan. 15th, 2006|09:50 pm]
Been away in Spain for a week or so with some lovely trainee toreadores. All those tight hose and big capes put me in mind of my childhood in Surbiton, for a while, but when they got their big pointy weapons out they certainly tamed the toro in me.

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(no subject) [Dec. 31st, 2005|12:18 am]

In the year 2006 I resolve to:

Do every single person on my friends list by the 4th of January. You'd better brace yourselves and warm the swarfega.

Get your resolution here

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(no subject) [Dec. 18th, 2005|10:32 pm]
A new friend. Imran, I think she said her name was. Ah well, you know me, never too much with the names.

She has a lovely way with green suede, that put me in mind of the springtime, lambs frolicking, the sap rising, you know the sort of thing.

After she showed me the stamps in her passport I showed her a few places *she'd* never been before. After a slight misunderstanding over some brandy butter we're the best of friends again.

Oh, and Gillian McKeith is right on the brandy butter - goes straight to one's thighs. At least it did last night.
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(no subject) [Dec. 6th, 2005|01:08 pm]
Dear Santa...

Dear Santa,

This year I've been busy!

In January I bought Foo porn for paula_abroad (30 points). In February I helped mrhig with his swarfega problem (-173 points). In November I indulged rougeforever's mince pie obsession (6 points). In May I pulled erialc. (-5 points). In June on a flight to Pakistan, I stole the emergency flight information card and replaced it with myles_away's Hustler magazine (-40 points).

Overall, I've been very very naughty (-209 points). For Christmas I deserve a long hard spanking!


Write your letter to Santa! Enter your LJ username:
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(no subject) [Dec. 4th, 2005|11:45 pm]
It's really not my fault.

How was I supposed to know he was an MP?

I mean, look at that lopsided grin....

He truly is what dreams are made of. I'm sure you're all with me on this one.

*Bang* go my chances of honours in the New Year list. (Quite literally, folks)
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(no subject) [Nov. 28th, 2005|08:16 pm]
I'm not sure I should write about this, given certain people's sensitivities, but....

I'm still not sure whether to join Gary, Mark, Jason and Howard back on the reunion tour. I'm not sure the trousers fit anymore, for one thing - but I can always use the exposure.
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(no subject) [Nov. 17th, 2005|10:11 pm]
yes_lionel's LiveJournal Slut Stats
The below percentages indicate what yes_lionel has done with the 13 people on his friends list!




seen topless

seen naked

phone sexed

made out

oral sex


What are your LiveJournal Slut Stats?
Sponsored via Adult Friend Finder. Keep this meme and others like it checking it out or getting free account! You may meet the match of your dreams!
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(no subject) [Nov. 15th, 2005|04:57 pm]
[mood |bouncybouncy]

My dears, I've been in a very tight spot recently. (It's near Abbeywood Station, if you're interested).

But enough of my professional life, it struck me recently as I was tending to my marrows (there's nothing nicer than a stuffed marrow) that I've not been updating this journal recently. I know how you all depend on me as your moral guardian, so I'm very sorry.

Just to bring you up to speed quickly here's a summary of the last couple of months:

A couple of days in and around Maidenhead. Marvellous. These young 'uns are certainly enthusiastic.
Some enforced exile (following a misunderstanding with a traffic warden who tried to take down my particulars in Rupert Street) in Elba. All the nice boys love a sailor.
A few days coaching the Beavers swimming team. I think I must have read the job description wrong though. Still, I got to wear my Speedos (originally purchased 1972) in a public place despite the 2002 restraining order, so all was not lost.
Some consultancy with a strategist or two in Geneva. Nothing convention-al about that, let me tell you.

I'm now spending a few days at the bungalow of my good friend Robin Asquith. If you need me, you know where I am.
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car park sign [Aug. 6th, 2005|09:44 am]

car park sign
Originally uploaded by Yes Lionel.
I'm so thrilled i can now share my photos with you. Well, *some* of my photos, anyway.
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